So, If There's a Bicycle Heaven...

Not all beliefs teach that hell is the only alternative to life success, but many do. Which begs the question, "If there is a bicycle heaven, is there a bicycle hell?"

I would like to think so. A place where oil executives toast in the fumes of their own spoils? Where all hit-and-run drivers are eternally knocked to the cold pavement teeth first?
This page has another idea. Here they describe a hell for the unholy cyclist...

Bicycle hell is no place to be. Tires hold no air, due mainly to their triangular-only construction. And you thought square wheels were bad. Where you have to go is eternally uphill, steeper and steeper toward the summit that never comes. There is no beer in bicycle hell, no breaks, no time off of the clock, and you never, ever get to sit, being as there's no bicycle seats down there anyway. Your legs can never stretch out in front of you. Ibuprofen? Hah.

What are your views of heaven and hell? What will bicycle heaven and bicycle hell look like? Who's going where?

Leave a comment, or just pretend those are rhetorical.