Monday, October 12, 2009

Hollow Be Thy Frame–Celebrating the Bike Temple Grand Opening

Freak bikes, ministers, young, and old all converged on the new Bike Temple location this weekend to celebrate its grand opening in an inspiring and uplifting event.

The celebration started early as the Freak Bike Fall Alley Cat racers showed up out front, the undisclosed finish line to the annual checkpoint challenge that pits tall bikes, long bikes, mini bikes, and even a shopping cart cargo bike against each other. The racers showed up panting, lipstick smeared, and ready for some healing. Soon after people started flocking to the temple from high and low, each one rolling their blessed bicycles into the temple doors to park against pews in the sanctuary.

Pasture Ted and the Kernal graciously cooked up some food for the masses, which was pleasantly accompanied by some communion thanks to Josh and the Deacon, and, after some great fellowship with our bicycle brothers and sisters, we headed into the sanctuary for services.

The services in the sanctuary started off with everyone in attendance rolling their venerated transportation tool down the aisle to the alter, where the Pasture and Padre Joe blessed their chains with holy anointing oil while the Deacon sang bicycle-themed Gregorian chants. After everyone's bicycles had been blessed, and The Door Prize was proudly displayed on stage, the congregation sat down for a sermon.

Deacon Amos started off with a short introduction to the Bike Temple, Pasture Ted than told us the history of his mission and how this whole thing came to be, and the Kernal blessed us with a wonderfully inspiring sermon, a vision of a cycling utopia in real life, an uplifting message for the believers, who sat with heads bowed and eyes closed. After the sermons we took a few confessions from the congregation, who repented of recent transportation transgressions, and who were forgiven by the Temple.We followed the confessions with a recital of the newly-authored (still a work in progress) "Bicycle Pledge of Allegance", which was manifested that very day by sister Lauren...

I pledge allegiance to my bike, in the anarchist state of Cascadia, and to the fun movement for which it stands, one cycle, under your mom, do-it-your-damn-self, with free love and helmets for all!

After the pledge the crowd joined Rev. Phil on stage with hands linked and heads bowed, who lead us in a group recital of the Bicycle Lord's Prayer.

It was a truly awesome and inspiring sight to see so many people committed to the cause who weren't afraid to bare themselves and have fun doing it. The sound of bike bells ringing through a church was a first for us, and it just sounded right.

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